Blooming

We all experience some cold and dark moments in our lives. But no period of life, no matter how frosted and empty, lasts forever. Sooner or later the little buds of hope and happiness push through the layers of sorrow and fear, and they bloom.

I feel like I've bloomed over the past two days. Admitting my defeat in the blog, and then having an honest and heartfelt discussion with the amazing woman we all know as Sandy, helped me a lot more than I expected.

Yesterday I went to the gym. That was quite the experience. On the one hand, it was kind of sad. I remembered when I used to walk into that gym and do an hour and a half workout. How I'd go maximum speed on the machines, how that gym felt like my comfort zone. It felt strange and foreign this time around, but I took a deep breath and reintroduced myself as best I could. 30 minutes were spent on the arcsoft machine...which is kind of like an elliptical, but has a smoother motion to it which is good for people like my mom who have bad knees. It's also the machine you burn the most calories on. I burned 385 calories in 30 minutes. After that I worked on my abs, and god did those machines hurt more then I remembered.

I left feeling exhausted...but in control...strong...decisive. It was a good feeling.

Today I dragged my mother to the grocery store and we did a good healthy food trip. I loaded up on v8, carrots and celery, apples, oranges and bananas, my best bread ever (It's called Arnold's Sandwich thins. I started to get sick of nothing but flat wraps...so this gives you the feel of a fluffy sandwich, but the pieces of bread are sliced thinner so that the top and bottom of your sandwich are the equivalent of one piece of normal wheat bread.) I cooked chicken for dinner. I used to hate chicken cause it always came out so dry, but I found that if you put them in the oven in some Italian dressing they come out nice and moist. A little salsa on the side to dip them in, some spinach leaves, carrots, and soy nuts in my salad...and I was set.

It felt so good to eat my dinner and know that I was putting health into my body. It's funny how much your mindset can make a difference. I'm eating better...and even though I know it's only been a few days, I feel thinner. I'm planning on getting on the scale on Tuesday. I'm going to the gym again tomorrow, and then at least one day on the weekend.

I've also decided to implement motivation techniques to help me say no to temptation. Every time I want to spend money on unhealthy junk food, I'll instead put $5 in my savings box for my trip to florida in July.

So there you have it. There's still a little snow on the ground, but I'm determinedly pushing my way through it.